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Humor, honesty, and the parts most people leave out.
The other night one of my kids and I were at the kitchen table doing some long division homework.
I'm not gonna front. I was struggling with it. It's been a minute since I had to do that kind of problem by hand.
So I did what any responsible parent would do. I said I needed to grab something real quick and snuck out of the room. After I shut my bedroom door, I asked AI how to do the problem. Then I walked back in the kitchen like I'd known all along.
A few problems later my kid looked up at me and asked, "Why can’t we just use AI or a calculator?" Good question, kid.
I explained that yes, AI or a calculator would give you the answer right away. But you're not gonna have either one with you when you take the quiz in class. You actually have to know how to do it.
That right there is a lot of life. Shortcuts are great until you need to really do something with no help.
On stage I talk about the difference between consulting and coaching.
Consulting is telling people the answer. Here's what to do. Here's what to do next. It can get results, but when somebody just tells you what to do you never actually learn it.
Coaching is different. You ask questions, give feedback and offer a way to think about the problem so the person gets to the answer on their own. When they do that they actually learn how to do something.
AI is the greatest consultant ever built. Ask it anything and it'll tell you what to do in five seconds. I use it every day to run my business. I used it to fake my way through long division. But I used it so I could sit back down and work through the problems with my kid, not so they could skip the part where they learn.
That's why I think the life you’ve lived and your experience is about to get more valuable, not less. When anybody can pull up an answer in five seconds the answer stops being worth much. What's worth something is the person who's actually been there and can help you get there too. Analog is the new luxury.
Back when I was still working in TV in New York City I sat on an industry panel at a conference.
Afterwards one of the other panelists said, "I can't believe they only paid us $500 to be on the panel."
I was confused for a second. Then it hit me that I didn't get paid anything. Zero. The other folks on that stage knew what they brought was worth something and I didn't know that yet.
I kept doing versions of that for years saying yes to the coffee chats, the long calls that started with "Got 5 minutes?" and the "Can I pick your brain?" messages. One time someone offered to pay me for my advice and I said, "Don't worry about it." They paid somebody else $1,500 instead.
I thought I was just being a nice guy. You might be doing the same thing.
Maybe it's the friend of a friend who keeps getting sent your way because "you have to talk to her, she's the person for this."
Maybe it's the "Got 5 minutes?" that turns into 40 and ends with "I owe you a coffee." Maybe you can see someone's mistake coming a mile away because you made the exact same one years ago. And when they thank you, your reflex is "No problem. It's nothing."
It's not nothing.
When people keep coming to you for help that's a signal. You just can't see it from inside your own life. The stuff that comes easiest to us is the hardest to value because we forgot it was ever hard.
AI can give anybody the answer but it can't give them what you went through to get there.
I'm putting together something for a small group in November to help people find exactly what they’re great at, name it and say it out loud. I'll share the details next Saturday.
If you want first look before anybody else, hit reply and type "window."
Tony
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