There’s a concept in psychology called enantiodromia.
Fancy word, I know. Carl Jung used it to describe what happens when something gets pushed so far it turns into its opposite. Chaos turns into order. A breakdown turns into something new. What feels like everything falling apart is often something reorganizing underneath it.
I learned this one the hard way.
In January 2025, my family lost our home in the Los Angeles wildfires. We got out with four backpacks. If you'd told me back then that something was reorganizing underneath all that, I would've told you exactly where you could put your psychology concept.
But in the weeks after, between insurance calls, looking for a place to live, and trying to keep things normal for my kids, I started asking myself one question every morning: What will make today matter? Some days the answer was insurance. Some days it was the home search. Some days it was just time with the twins.
That question turned into The 1-Day Method, then a book and a planner, and later an app. None of it would exist if everything hadn't fallen apart first.
Most people don't recognize it when it's happening
When you're in it, it doesn't feel like reorganizing. It feels like you're off track, like something's gone wrong, like the tension means you're failing. I've been there more than once.
But a lot of the time the tension is the signal. It's what happens when the way you've been operating stops working. The job that used to make sense starts to feel off. The routines that used to work don't. The pace that felt manageable starts to feel like way too much. Nothing dramatic has to happen, just enough pressure that the old setup doesn't fit anymore.
That's the edge. Things don't feel stable, but they haven't reorganized yet either. You can't go back to how things were, and you don't know what replaces it yet. So it feels like chaos.
Forcing it makes it worse
This is the part I still miss. When things get shaky, I try to force stability. Force the old routine to work. Force the same expectations and the same version of myself. And all that does is create more friction, because the pressure isn't random. It's pointing at what doesn't fit anymore.
So if you're in a season where things feel off, heavy, or harder than they should be, try swapping the question. Instead of "How do I get back to normal?" ask "What is this trying to change?"
And if that one's too big right now, go smaller: What will make today matter? You don't have to figure out the whole thing. Just today.
Because sometimes the discomfort isn't the problem. It's the signal.
What helps when everything feels like it's falling apart
Everything below came out of my own falling apart, so I'll keep it real about what each one is.
The Question app. One question every morning: What will make today matter? It's the simplest version of everything in this post. Get the app →
The 1-Day Method (book). How that one question after the fire turned into a way of living, built around five daily practices: Sweat, Connect, Grow, Unplug, Finish. Read it →
The 1-Day Method Planner. The book's companion. A place to actually answer the question on paper, one day at a time. Get the planner →
Stop Living on Autopilot. My book on waking up from the life you're sleepwalking through. Funny enough, I wrote it for me. Read it →
Build Your Keynote. A lot of the best talks start in a season like this. Mine did. If people keep asking to pick your brain about what you've lived through or what you know, this helps you get paid for it. Start here →
Tony
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