Humor, honesty, and the parts most people leave out.
My dad got cremated twice.
I didn't plan on saying that on stage during a keynote. It just came out and I chuckled after I said it.
I was telling the story of how my family lost everything in the Los Angeles wildfires in January 2025. Our home, the kids’ school, the local library, the grocery store. Everything. My dad's ashes were in our house too.
A few people started laughing after I did so I said, "Hey. You have permission to laugh." Then the whole room laughed and it felt so good. My dad would've gotten a kick out of it. He really would have.
That laugh is the part of the talk people will remember.
Not the part I rehearsed but the moment I stopped playing it safe and said what I was actually thinking.
For a long time I didn't do that. Not on stage and not in my career.
Early on I watched people with half my experience get the jobs, the panels, the keynotes and the interviews I wanted. I had the experience, the qualifications and a track record I could point to. But I wanted to be humble so I didn't advocate for myself and I didn't raise my hand high enough.
I’ve learned that it's not always the most talented person who gets the job or books the gig. A lot of the time it's the person who believes in themself and says it out loud.
You can't advocate for something you can't name.
Most of us are so close to what we're great at that we can't see it. It's why one of the questions in my keynote is, "What do you know that you've stopped noticing?"
Think about how a referral sounds. Nobody says, "You should talk to my friend, she has 18 years of experience in marketing." They say, "Talk to my friend, she's the one who told us to stop buying ads until we fixed our landing page and funnel." The second one gets her hired without her even being in the room.
That's the difference between having experience and knowing what it's worth. I'm not telling you to be arrogant. But if you know you can do something great there's nothing wrong with saying so.
So I'm doing something about this in November.
It's called The Window. It's a live cohort with me, 10 people, four weeks on Zoom with cameras on. In four weeks you'll know what you're great at, have the story that proves it and say it out loud in front of a room.
And no, you don't have to want to be a keynote speaker. Most people will use this for an interview, a business they’re building, a performance review, a pitch, the all hands meeting, a panel or their first talk.
We meet Tuesday November 10, Tuesday November 17, Monday November 23 (Thanksgiving week) and Tuesday December 1, from 5:00 to 6:30 PM ET (2:00 PT).
Week 1 I interview you, journalist style, until we find the thing you're actually known for. Week 2 is the story that proves it. Week 3 everybody says it out loud and I coach it live. Week 4 is who you're becoming and the one move you make next.
Robbie Young, a credit union executive I worked with, put it like this: "He didn't rewrite my story. He helped me refine it, clarify what mattered most, and build the kind of confidence that comes from preparation." Adam Barney, a leadership coach, said he left understanding more clearly what his work is actually about.
This is the first time I'm running it as a group so I'm paying attention to every single person.
It's $997 and Build Your Keynote ($199 on its own) is included. When I coach someone 1:1 on this it's $10,000.
If you're worried we'll dig and there's nothing there, that's what the guarantee is for. Show up to weeks 1 and 2, do the work and if you still can't name what you're known for, email me before week 3 and I'll refund you in full.
This isn't fake scarcity. In week 3 I coach every person live and past 10 people somebody gets rushed. Enrollment closes Saturday, November 7 so everybody has a few days in Build Your Keynote before we meet.
Everybody tells you to stay humble but nobody tells you what it costs.
For me it was years of stages I wasn't on, rooms I wasn't in, and deals I missed out on. And I didn't even notice because nobody sends you a bill for the stuff you never raised your hand for.
What has staying humble cost you?
Tony
PS: The Window starts November 10 and enrollment closes Saturday, November 7 or when the 10 seats fill. Everything’s right here, including the guarantee. Not sure it's for you? Hit reply and tell me what you'd use it for. I read every one.
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